Values Development - ChangingMinds.org

The Imprint Period ... Up to the age of seven, we are like sponges, absorbing everything around us and accepting much of it as true, especially when it comes from ... Howwechangewhatothersthink,feel,believeanddo | Menu| Quick| Books| Share| Search| Settings| ValuesDevelopment   Explanations > Values >ValuesDevelopment Periodsofdevelopment |Becomingprincipled|Sowhat?   Wearenotbornwithvalues,sohowdopeopledeveloptheirvalues?Therearethreeperiodsduringwhich valuesaredevelopedaswegrow. Periodsofdevelopment SociologistMorrisMasseyhasdescribedthreemajorperiodsduringwhich valuesaredeveloped. TheImprintPeriod Uptotheageofseven,wearelikesponges,absorbingeverythingaroundus andacceptingmuchofitastrue,especiallywhenitcomesfromourparents.The confusionandblindbeliefofthisperiodcanalsoleadtotheearlyformation oftraumaandotherdeepproblems. Thecriticalthinghereistolearnasenseofrightandwrong,goodandbad. Thisisahumanconstructionwhichweneverthelessoftenassumewouldexisteven ifwewerenothere(whichisanindicationofhowdeeplyimprintedithas become). TheModelingPeriod Betweentheagesofeightandthirteen,wecopypeople,oftenourparents, butalsoothers.Ratherthanblindacceptanceoftheirvalues,wearetrying themonlikeasuitofclothes,toseehowtheyfeel. Atthisagewemaybemuchimpressedwithreligionorourteachers.Youmayremember beingparticularlyinfluencedbyjuniorschoolteacherswhoseemedso knowledgeable--maybeevenmoresothanyourparents. TheSocializationPeriod Between13and21,weareverylargelyinfluencedbyourpeers.Aswedevelop asindividualsandlookforwaystogetawayfromtheearlierprogramming,we naturallyturntopeoplewhoseemmorelikeus. Otherinfluencesattheseagesincludethemedia,especiallythoseparts whichseemtoresonatewithourthevaluesofourpeergroups. Becomingprincipled It'stoughtohavehighmoralvalues,butsomepeoplegetthere. Pre-moral Inthepre-moralstate,wehavenorealvalues(wearethus'amoral').Youngchildrenarepremoral. Soalsoarepsychopaths.OurbasicnaturetellsustobeMachiavellian,doing whateverittakestoachieveourgoals,evenifitmeanshurtingotherpeople. Conventional Mostpeoplehaveconventionalvalues,aslearnedfromtheirparents,teachers andpeers.Thesebasicallysay'herearetherulestoliveinreasonableharmony withotherpeople.' Thebottomlineofthisstateisthatwewillfollowthemjustsolongaswe thinkweneedto.Wewillbreakourvaluesoccasionally,andespeciallyifour needsarethreatenedorweareprettysurewecangetawaywithbreakingvalues withnobodyelseknowingaboutit. Principled Whenwearetrulyprincipled,webelieveinourvaluestothepointwhere theyareanintegralandsubconsciouspartofourperson.Rightandwrongare absolutethingsbeyondtheperson,forexampleasdefinedbyareligion. Thetestofaprincipledpersonisthattheywillsticktotheirvalues throughthickandthin,andevenwillsacrificethemselvesratherthanbreak theirprinciples.Manygreatleaderswereprincipled(MartinLutherKing,Gandhi, etc.). Sowhat? Ifyoucanunderstandhowpeople'svaluesdevelop,thenyoucanguidetheprocess.Thisiswell understoodbydictatorsandreligioussectsaroundtheworld.Dictators regularlytakeovertheeducationsystemandbrainwashthechildrenintheir ideals.AnoldJesuitsayingisnotthatfaroff:'GivemethechildandIwill giveyoutheman.' Beingprincipledisaverypowerfulmethodofinfluence.Butbeware:thisis aonewaystreet--italsomeanstherearemanythingsyoucannotdo. 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