Filial Piety (孝) in Chinese Culture - The Greater China Journal

Filial piety was a central value in traditional Chinese culture. Its importance went far beyond that of the biblical commandment “honour thy ... Skiptocontent About Search Searchfor: Search Date:March14,2016Author:ArisTeon 10Comments InordertounderstandChinesecultureandsocietyitisfundamentaltounderstandtheChinesefamily.ThefamilyinChinawasnotonlyasocialunit,butitrepresentedawholecodifiedideologythatpervadedthestateandthesocietyforthousandsofyears.ManyofthedifferencesbetweenChineseandWesternthinkingarecomprehensibleonlyfromthepointofviewoftheuniqueplacethatthefamilyhasinChineseculture. “TheClassicofFilialPiety,”byunknownartist(s).“CulturalInvigoration.DynasticRenaissance:ArtandCultureoftheSouthernSong”(exhibit).Taipei:NationalPalaceMuseum,viaWikimediaCommons. Withoutdoubt,thepillaroftheChinesefamilystructurewastheconceptoffilialpiety.InChinese,filialpietyisexpressedbythecharacter孝(pinyin:xiào).Thecharacterxiaoismadeupofanupperandalowerpart.Thefirstpartisderivedfromthecharacterlao(老,pinyin:lǎo),whichmeans‘old’.Thesecondpartisthecharacter子(pinyin:zi),whichmeans‘son’.Therearedifferentinterpretationsofthemeaningofthecharacterxiao: 1)theoldaresupportedbytheyoungergeneration; 2)theyoungareburdenedandoppressedbytheold; 3)thepurposeofthefamilyisthecontinuationofthefamilyline(chronological,fromtoptobottom)(see Ikels2004,pp.2-3). FilialpietywasacentralvalueintraditionalChineseculture.Itsimportancewentfarbeyondthatofthebiblicalcommandment“honourthymotherandthyfather”.Filialpietywasandstillisavaluebasedonstrictprinciplesofhierarchy,obligationandobedience.ItisnoexaggerationtosaythatitwastheveryfoundationofthehierarchicalstructureoftheChinesefamilyandthusoftheChinesesocietyasawhole.Thatdoesnotmeanthattheideaoffilialpietyhasnotchangedoverthecenturiesorthatchildrenarealwaysfilial.Butweneedfirstofalltounderstandwhatxiaomeans,whereitcomesfrom,andhowitwaspractisedinthepast,beforewecanexaminetheexceptionsandthechanges. Confucianism,includingclassicalandHanConfucianism,providedaviewofthecosmosandsocialorderthatlegitimatedtheChinesepatrilineal,patrilocal,andpatriarchalfamilysystem.ConfucianemphasisonobligationstopatrilinealancestorsandConfucianexaltationoffilialpietycontributedtoamoralorderinwhichfamilieswerecentraltohumanidentityandtoafamilysystemorganizedhierarchicallysothatmenandoldergenerationshadconsiderablepoweroverwomenandyoungergenerations(Ebrey2003,pp.11-12). Thepre-eminenceoffilialdutyisclearlydemonstratedbythefollowingChinesesaying:Ofallvirtues,filialpietyisthefirst(百善孝為先;pinyin:bǎishànxiàowèixiān). EmailAddress: Subscribe Advertisements Feeding,Obeying,Sacrificing–TheEthicsofFilialPiety Theconceptunderlyingtheprincipleoffilialpietyissimple.Parentsgavelifetochildren,gavethemfoodandclothes,aneducationetc.Forallthethingsthatchildrenreceivedfromparents,childrenhaveaneternalobligationtowardsthem.Theyhaveadebttowardstheirparents,adebtthatcanneverbefullyrepaid.Theonlythingthatchildrencandoinordertorepayatleastasmallpartofthisdebt,istotakecareoftheirparentsintheiroldage,tomakethemproudandhappy,toobeyandservethem. IthinkthatmanyWesternersoftenfailtounderstandhowextreme,atleastbyWesternstandards,theconceptoffilialpietywasintraditionalChinesesociety.Inordertoshowthispoint,IwillquoteheretwoancientChinesestoriesthatillustratetheethicsoffiliality. Thefirststoryisfromthe24ExemplarsofFilialPiety(二十四孝,pinyin:Èrshísìxiào),acollectionoftalesaboutfilialpietycompiledbyGuoJujing,aYuanDynasty(1260-1368)scholarfromFujianProvince(seeLittlejohn2010,pp.139-140).The13thstoryofthecollectionnarrateshowamancalledGuoJu(郭巨;pinyin:GuōJù)buriedhissonalivesothathismothercouldeat. GuoJuwasapoormanburdenedwithawife,mother,andchild.Onedayhesaidtohiswife:“Wearesopoorthatwecannotevensupportmother.Furthermore,oursonsharesmother’sfood.Whydon’tweburythechild?Wecanhaveanotherchild,butifmotherdies,wecannotreplaceher.”Thewifedidnotdaretocontradicthim.Hebegantodigthegraveforhisownson,andsuddenlyhediscoveredavasefullofgoldintheearth–agiftofHeaventothefilialson(seeLang1946,pp.25-26). Themeaningofthistaleisclear.Whenfacedwiththedilemmaofhavingtochoosebetweenone’sparentsandone’schildren(orwife,forthatmatter),onealwayshastochoosetheparents.Thisisthehierarchicalprincipleofthesuperiorityoftheelderovertheyounger.Itisthedutyofchildrentotakecareoftheirparentsatallcosts,evenifthatmeanssacrificingone’sownchildren. Foodisnotonlyinthisstoryacentraltheme.Infact,itcanbefoundinmany,ifnotmosttalesaboutfiliality.Thewordthatsummarisesthisaspectoffilialpietyistheverbyang(養/养,pinyin:yǎng),whichmeans‘feed’,or‘raise’.InChineseculture,foodasasymbolofparentalcareontheonehand,andofthedebtofchildrentowardsparentsontheotherhand,isaconstantmotifinparents-childrenrelationship.Inpassing,Iwouldliketopointoutthattheseexemplarsoffilialpietyshouldnotbedismissedasold-fashionedstories.Theywereandarestillpartofchildren’seducation,bothintheRepublicofChina(Taiwan)andthePeople’sRepublicofChina(mainlandChina),asBeijing’srecentlyupdatededitionofthebookdemonstrates. ThereisamisconceptionthatChinahasbecome‘materialistic’duetoheropeningupunderDengXiaoping,andbecausemoneyisincreasinglyimportant.Thereisacertaintruthtothisidea,butitisamisunderstandingtothinkthatWesternandChinese‘materialism’areexactlythesame.Westernmaterialismisthedesiretoacquirematerialgoods,moneyandpower.ThiskindofmaterialismdoesexistinChina,too. However,inChineseculturethereisanother,anancienttraditionofmaterialismbasedontheconceptoffilialpietyandonthestructureoftheChinesefamily.Thismaterialisticworldviewiscompletelydifferentfromasimplyindividualisticorhedonisticmaterialism,becauseitemanatesfromthemoralandhierarchicalConfucianidealoffamilialinterdependence.TheChinesefamilywasfoundedona‘reciprocalbargain’(Knapp2013)betweenparentsandchildren;parentstookcareoftheirchildren,andchildrenwouldlatergivebacktotheirparents.Itisnocoincidencethatmanystoriesaboutfilialpietyrevolvearoundthesubjectoffoodormoney. InearlyChina,besidesexpressingloveorcare,thepresentationoffood,orbyextensionmaterialsupport,createsobligation.Ifonefeedsaman,heisobligatedtorepayyourkindness.Thissenseofobligationwassostrongthatitcouldbeusedasameanstocontrolothers.Inthesameway,achildisobligatedtorepayhisparentsforthefoodandcaretheyprovidedhimasahelplesschild(Knapp2013). Thisaspectisveryimportant.TheChinesepreoccupationwithmoneyandmaterialwell-beingisinmanycasestheconsequenceofthisparticularunderstandingoffamilyrelationshipsthatemphasizestheideaofservice,ofrituals,andof‘providingforsomeone’.Familyrelationshipsarebasedonage,genderandrole-division,notonmutualunderstanding,equalityoremotionalcloseness.Everyfamilymemberhastoactaccordingtoone’srole,anddocertainthingsaccordingtoone’spositionandobligationswithinthefamily.Parentshavetoprovidefortheirchildren,andwhenchildrengrowup,theyhavetoprovidefortheirparents.Husbandshavetoprovidefortheirwives,andsoon.Atleast,thatwastheoriginalconcept.Nowadays,thisconcepthassomewhatchanged,butitstillsurvivesinamoremodernform,asIwillexplaininfutureposts. FormanyChineseorTaiwanese,loveisnotexpressedwithwords,anditisnotsimplyamatteroffeeling.Loveisshownanddisplayedthroughmaterialcare.Chineseparentsandchildrenarenotsomuchinterestedinsharingtheiremotionsthrough,forexample,hugsorwords.Filialpietyandparentalcareareshownby‘feeding’someone,‘providing’forsomeone,orperformingritualisticacts.Thisruleappliestomanykindsoffamilialrelationships.Ifahusbandispoor,hecannotshowhislove,becausehelacksthematerialprerequisitestodoso. Anexampleoffilialbehaviourismourningone’sparentsproperly,ifnotlavishly.Thiswasandstillisawaytodemonstrateone’sownfilialpiety.InChineseliterature,theactofmourningone’sparentsproperlyiscentral.HereisapassagefromtheMingDynastytaleTheOilVendorandtheQueenofFlowers: “Shilaowasseriouslyill,andsoonhedied.ZhuZhong[Shilao’sadoptiveson]mournedhimasifhehadbeenhisownfleshandblood,andburiedhimaccordingtotheappropriatecustomsandrites,sothatthewholeneighbourhoodpraisedhismoralvirtuesasafilialson.Aftercarryingouthisfilialduties,QinZhongreopenedtheoilshop.” (十老病重，醫治不痊，嗚呼哀哉。

朱重捶胸大慟，如親父一般，殯殮成服，七七做了些好事。

朱家祖墳在清波門外，朱重舉喪安葬，事事成禮。

鄰里皆稱其厚德。

事定之後，仍先開店。

) ItisimportanttostressthemotifoftheneighbourspraisingZhuZhong’sfilialdevotion.ThisisatopicthatisverycommoninChineseculture.Theemphasisonfilialpietyshapesthepsychologicalandsocialidentityofchildren.Theyaretaughtthatgoodchildrenmustbefilialandobedient,sothattheyexperienceasenseofshameiftheyfeelotherwise.Filialpiety,asitisinculcatedinchildrenandasitisviewedbythesociety,isakeysocialindicatorofaperson’ssenseofresponsibility,maturityandreliability. Childrenwhodisplayfilialdevotionproperlyareregardedbythewholecommunityastrustworthy,honourableandrespectable.Beingunfilial,onthecontrary,canresultnotonlyinsenseofshame,butalsoinbadreputation,andbadreputationinChinesesociety,whereinterpersonalrelationshipsareindispensable,isnotjustaquestionofhowoneisviewedbyothers,butalsoofhowoneistreated.Therefore,havingabadreputationcanhavenegativerepercussionsonone’slife(seeIkels2004,pp.4-6).I’veheardthatinTaiwan,peoplehireyoungwomenwhocryloudlyfortheirparents,inordertoexpresspubliclytheirfilialcare. TheaforementionedmotifoffoodasademonstrationofloveisparticularlyinterestingbecauseuntiltodayTaiwaneseandChineseparentsshowthattheycareabouttheirchildrenbygivingthemfood.Theymightputpressureontheirchildreneveryday,theymightpushthemandmaketheirlivesunhappy,buttheywillkeeponfeedingthemasatokenofparentallove. Sponsoredbooks ChineseCivilization:ASourcebook,byPatriciaBuckleyEbreyTheAgeofConfucianRule:TheSongTransformationofChina(HistoryofImperialChina),byDieterKuhnandTimothyBrookAChinaStory:FromPeip’ingtoBeijing,byJamesB.HendryChina’sLastEmpire:TheGreatQing,byWilliamT.RoweMakingChinaModern:FromtheGreatQingtoXiJinping,byKlausMühlhahn IfyouclickonourBetterWorldBooksaffiliatelinksandpurchaseanyproductofyourchoice,wereceiveasmallcommissionatnoadditionalcosttoyou.Bydoingso,youcansupportourworkandhelpuscreatemorecontent.Thanksforyoursupport! Inoneofhisearlyfilms,TaiwanesefilmdirectorAngLeeusedthemotifoffoodinamasterlyway.InEatDrinkManWomanhetellsthestoryofapatriarchalTaiwanesefamily.ThefatherisoneofthemostfamouscooksinTaipei.Everydayhepreparessumptuousmealsforhisthreedaughters.Theyhavetoeattogetherbecausethat’swhattheirfatherdesires.Buttheybarelytalkwitheachother,andbehindthecurtainoffamilyharmonyandlove,whichareshownthroughtheperformanceofritualisticactssuchasthecommonmeals,thereareproblemsandcontradictionsthatwillcometothesurfaceinthecourseofthefilm.Thevisualemphasisplacedonthedeliciousfoodcookedbythefatherisabrilliantsymboloftheconceptofyang,whichatthesametimerepresentslove,parentalpower,andfilialobligation. Anotherconsequenceofthisunderstandingofloveandcare,isthatresponsibilityismainlyregardedas‘providing’forsomeone,ratherthanascaringabouteachother’sfeelings.Forexample,intraditionalChinesesociety,amancouldhavemorewives,regardlessofwhetherwiveswerejealous.Butaslongasheprovidedforthem,hewasconsideredaresponsiblehusband.Nowadays,therearemanycasesofhusbandswhohavemistresses,orofchildrenwhobarelytalkwiththeirparents.Butaslongashusbandsprovidefortheirwives,andchildrenprovidefortheirparents,theyareconsideredresponsible.Itisveryimportanttounderstandthispoint,becausewhenChineseorTaiwanesetalkaboutresponsibility,theirunderstandingofresponsibilitymaydifferfromthatintheWest. Thefactthatchildrenhavetorepaytheirobligationtowardsparentsalsoleadstotheideathatchildrenareasortofold-ageinsurance.IntraditionalChinesesociety,childrenliterallyhadtoservetheirparents.ThematerialmotivationbehindfilialpietyismanifestintheancienttaleofYuanGu(原谷,pinyin:Yuángǔ): “Oneday,YuanGu’sfatherandmotherdecidedthathisgrandfatherwastoooldtobeuseful,sotheydecidedtogetridofhim.Yuanfollowedhisfather,whousedalittertocarrythegrandfathertothemountains.Afterhisfatherabandonedtheoldman,Yuangrabbedthelitterandbroughtithome.Whenhisfatheraskedhimwhy,hereplied,‘Perhapslateryoutoowillbecomeoldandwillnotbeabletoworkagain.Merelyinordertodotherightthing,Ihaveretrievedit.’Terrifiedandashamed,hisfatherrealizedtheerrorofhisways,retrievedtheoldmanandservedhiminafilialmanner.”(seeKnapp2013) Wecanseeherethatthefatherbecomesfilialbecausehethinksofwhatwillhappentohimselfwhenheisold.Ifheabandonedhisfather,hewouldbreakthehierarchicalstructureofthefamily,ofwhichhewillbeabeneficiaryinhisoldage. Inthesecondpartofthispost,Iwillbeexaminingtheconceptsofhierarchyandobedience,andIwilltrytoexplainwhyfilialpietyandthehierarchicalfamilystructurehavebeensoresilientandhavesecuredthecontinuityofChinesecultureandsocietythroughoutthecenturies. Advertisements Hierarchy,Authority,Obedience Chinesepeopletendtodepicttheirownsocietyas‘harmonious’and‘collectivist’,asopposedtoWesterndisorderandindividualism.AsIhaveexplained inapreviouspost,thisviewisnotentirelyexact. WecanunderstandChinesesocietyonlyifwerealisethatharmonyandcollectivismarenothingmorethansynonymsofhierarchyandsocialroles.IthinkanyonewhohaslivedinChinaorTaiwanhasseenthatthesesocietiesareabsolutelynotfreefrominterpersonaltensions.Oneofthemostevidentsignsofthesetensionsisgossipintheworkplace,whichcanbefierceandwhichclearlyshowsanextremelevelofrivalryandaconstantpowerstruggleamongcolleaguesaswellasamongsuperiorsandsubordinates. IfChinesesocietyweretrulyharmonious,ifindividualsthoughtabouteachother’sfeelings,ifeveryone’sactionsweremotivatedbyaltruismandsoon,thereoughttobenogossip,norivalry,nopoliticaloppression,noconflictsbetweenparentsandchildren,friendsetc.EveryobservationofChinesesocietymustleadtotheconclusionthatsuchconflicts do exist,andthatthereforeharmonyandcollectivismcannotbeunderstoodasaltruismandsolidarity. RuthBenedictonceremarkedinregardtoJapaneseculture,thattheJapanesehadaninnatefaithinhierarchyandorder.Forthem,hierarchywasafundamentalnotionthatdeterminedeveryindividual’srelationstohisfellowman(see Benedict2006,p.43).Theideathathumanrelationshipsarebasedonhierarchyandsocialrolesisoftenacceptedunconsciously,asanecessityandafactoflifethatdoesn’trequirefurtherjustification.WhatistrueinthecaseofJapan,isalsotrue–thoughpartlytoalesserextent–inChinesesocietyandthinking. ProfessorAkikoHashimotogivesaveryprovocativedefinitionoffilialpiety: “FilialpietyinEastAsiatodayisatonceafamilypractice,anideology,andasystemofregulatingpowerrelations.Aspracticedinthefamily,filialpietydefinesahierarchicalrelationshipbetweengenerations,particularlythatoftheparentandthechild.Inthisorderedspace,filialpietyprescribestheideologyofdevotionbythegratefulchildtotheparent,andalsoplacesdebtandobligationattheheartofthediscourseonparent-childrelationships.Contemporaryfilialpietyisinthissensenotmerelyavestigeofapastfamilycustom,butanongoingpracticeofsurveillanceandcontrolthatunleashesconsiderabledisciplinarypower.Usingadiscourseofgratitudeandindebtedness,ahierarchyofpowerisreproducedineverydaylife,privilegingtheoldovertheyoungandtheparentoverthechild.”(Ikels2004,p.182) Suchunderstandingoffilialpietyfocusesontheparticulardistributionofpowerwithinthefamily.Thatdoesn’tmeanthatfamiliesinChinaaredevoidoflove.Asweshallseelater,analysingthehierarchicalnatureoffilialpietydoesmeandenyingtheexistenceofaffectionamongfamilymembers.However,inordertounderstandhowtheChinesefamilyfunctions,itisnecessarytolookatfilialpietyfromtheperspectiveofthepowerstructureoftheChinesefamily. Firstofall,IwouldliketogiveyouavividexampleofhowfilialpietyandhierarchywerepractisedinoldChinesesociety.Iwillquotesomepassagesfrom SixRecordsofaFloatingLife (浮生六記pinyin:FúShēngLiùJì),byShenFu(沈復),aQingDynastyscholarwholivedbetweentheendofthe18thandthebeginningofthe19thcentury.Icitedthisbookmanytimesonthisblog.That’sbecauseitisaclassicofChineseliterature,andinmanywaysitisauniqueone.ItistheautobiographybyaChinesescholarwholivedatatimeinwhichChinawasstillmostlyuntouchedbyWesterninfluence.WecanthereforeobserveChinesesocietyandthinkinginitspurestform.ShenFuwritesabouthislifewitharemarkabledegreeofcandour,andwithagreatamountofdetailsaboutthedailylifeandthesocietyofhistime.HismarriagewithYun,theloveofhislife,isoneofthemosttouchinganddelicatelovestoriesthatcanbefoundinChineseliterature. ShenFuandhiswifeYunarehappilymarried,buttheyarepoor,andrumoursbegintocirculateaboutthem.ShenFu’sparentslittlebylittlestarttodislikehiswife,andthenaseriesmisunderstandingswillleadtoYun’sdisgrace. “WhenmywifeandIwerelivingathome,wecouldnotavoidpawningourbelongingsifwehadunforeseenexpenses;atfirstwesomehowfoundwaystomakeendsmeet,butlaterwewerealwaysinneed[…].Firstourcircumstancesarousedtalkamongstlocalgossips,andlaterscornfromourfamily.Theancientswereright:‘Lackoftalentinawomanisavirtue.’“[accordingtoShenFu,hiswifewastootalentedandthereforeunsuitabletobeawoman]. “Yünusuallyenclosednotestomeinlettersfromhome,soonedaymyfathersaidtome,‘Sinceyourwifecanhandlebrushandink,shecanwriteyourmother’slettersforher.’Butsometimelatertherewassomegossipathome,andmothersuspectedYünofwritingsomethingimproperaboutitinoneofherletters.AfterthatshedidnotletYüntakeupthebrushforher. “WhenfathernoticedthatlaterletterswerenotinYün’shandwritingheaskedmewhethershewasill.Iwroteandaskedheraboutit,butYündidnotreply.Afterawhilefathergrewquiteangryaboutthis,andsaidtome,‘Apparentlyyourwifewillnotcondescendtowritelettersforyourmother!’ItwasnotuntilIreturnedhomethatIrealizedthecauseofthemisunderstanding,andIwantedtoputthingsrightforYün.Shehurriedlystoppedme,however,saying,‘Iwouldratherhavefatherblamingmeforthisthantohavemotherunhappywithme.’Sothingswerenotclearedupafterall. “Inthespringof1792IwaslivingatChenchou[…].AtthattimemyyoungerbrotherChi-tangwasworkingundermyfather.WhilethereIreceivedaletterfromYünsaying,‘YouryoungerbrotherChi-tangonceborrowedmoneyfromaladyneighbourandaskedmetobetheguarantor.Nowsheisanxioustohavethemoneyback.’IaskedChi-tangaboutit,butheonlysaidthatYünwasmeddlinginhisaffairs.Imerelyrepliedattheendofaletter,‘FatherandIarebothill,andwehavenomoneytorepaytheloan.Waituntilyoungerbrotherreturnshomeandlethimtakecareofithimself.’ “FatherandIrecoverednotlongafterwards,andIreturnedtoChenchou.Yün’sreplytomynotearrivedatHungchiangafterIhadleft,andfatheropenedandreadit.Inherletter,Yünwroteofmyyoungerbrother’sborrowingfromtheneighbour,andalsosaid,‘Yourmotherthinkstheoldman’sillnessisallbecauseoftheYaogirl[agirlwhowasabouttobecometheconcubineofShenFu’sfather].Whenheisabitbetter,youshouldsecretlyorderYaotowritetoherparentssayingsheishomesick.IwilltellherparentstogotoYangchoutofetchherhome.Thisway,bothsidescandisclaimresponsibilityforherdeparture.’Whenmyfatherreadthishewasfurious.HeaskedChi-tangabouttheloanfromtheneighbour,butChi-tangsaidheknewnothingofit.Fatherthenwrotealetterreprimandingme,inwhichhesaid,‘Yourwifehasborrowedmoneybehindyourback,andisnowtryingtosayitisalllittleuncle’sfault.Moreover,shecalledhermother-in-law“yourmother”,andreferredtomeas“oldman”.Thisisoutrageous!Ihave-alreadysentamessengerwithaletterbacktoSoochow,orderingthatshebeexpelledfromthehouse.Ifyouhaveanyshameatall,youwillrecognizeyourerrors!’ Receivingthisletterwaslikehearingaclapofthunderonaclearday.Iwrotealetterapologizingtofather,andquicklyrodehome,afraidthatYünwouldcommitsuicide.Ihadarrivedhomeandwasexplainingthewholeaffairwhentheservantarrivedwithfather’sletter,detailingYün’serrorsintheharshestterms.Yünweptandsaid,‘Imayhavebeenwrongtowritesoimproperly,butfathershouldforgivetheignoranceofawoman.’Afterafewdaysanotherletterarrivedfrommyfathersaying,‘Iamwillingtorelentalittle.Youmaytakeyourwifeandlivesomewhereelse.IfIdonothavetoseeyourfaceIwillnotbesoangry!’(SixRecordsofaFloatingLife,PartIII). Letmenowexamineafewaspectsofthisquitelongquotation,andmostespeciallytheonesconcerningfilialpietyandfamilyhierarchy. Advertisements 1.HierarchyandtheTaleofHarmony Aswecansee,inShenFu’sfamilyageandgendermatteralot.Yunisinaverylowpositionbecausesheisthedaughter-in-law.IntraditionalChineseculture,herfunctionwastohelpherhusbandfulfilhisfilialdutiestowardshisparents.Sheliterallybelongedtoherhusband’sfamily,andshehadtoserveandpleaseherparents-in-law.NeitherShenFunorYuncandoanythingtodefyhisfather’swill.Heistheheadofthehousehold,andthelastwordishis.Beingfilialmeanstoacceptthishierarchicalorderwillingly. Obviously,afamilylikethiscannotbedescribedasharmonious.AsIarguedbefore,manypeopleinEastAsiausetheword‘harmony’insteadofusingtheword‘hierarchy’,justbecauseitsoundsbetter.Wordsareaninstrumenttopropagateacertainworldview,andchoosingthewordsthatmakeappearthisworldviewinapositivewayisastrategy.ManyAsianfamiliesmayhavetensions,evenfiercetensions,butaslongastheykeeptogetherinonewayortheotherandtheoutsideworlddoesn’tknowtoomuchabouttheirconflicts,theyareconsideredharmonious. 2.GossipandMisunderstandings GossipisanimportantphenomenoninChinesesociety,BecauseofthehierarchicalstructureofChinesesociety,peoplecannotalwaysspeakuptheirminddirectlyinfrontofothers.Asarule,directcommunicationmostlyhappensfromtoptobottom.Aswehaveseen,thefathercondemnedYunintheharshestterms.Hedidn’tneedtobeindirect,becauseheisthefatherandhecanexpresshisviewstraight-forwardly.Yun,however,decidesnottodefendherself,becausesheisatthebottomofthehierarchy.Thisisasignthatsheisvirtuous,thatis,sheknowsher‘proper’place. Gossipgeneratesmisunderstandings,andmisunderstandingshaverepercussionsonpeople’slives.ThatiswhygossipissowidespreadintheworkplaceinChinaandTaiwan.Itisanexpressionofrivalry,powerstruggle,orsimplyofpersonaldislike.Typically,colleaguesmaytrytosaybadthingsaboutsomeoneelseinordertoisolatethatperson,perhapswiththeultimategoalofdamaginghisorherimageintheeyesofthecolleaguesand,mostimportantly,boss(es). 3.RightandWrong SometimesEastAsiansthinkthatWesternersareselfish,forexample,becausetheyconfronttheirparents,orbecausetheysay‘no’totheirbosses(forinstance,whenaskedtoworkovertime).However,thereasonwhytheythinkthatWesternersareselfishisthattheyhavebeentaughttoacceptacertainhierarchicalpowerstructure. LetuslookagainattheexampleofShenFu’sfather.Heone-sidedlyexpelsYunfromhishouseholdandhumiliatesher.Andthat’sonlybecauseofamisunderstandingandofimproperwording.However,ShenFubynomeanschallengeshisfather. IntraditionalChineseculture,‘rightandwrong’donotdependonuniversalprinciples,butonthepositionoftheindividualinthehierarchy.InConfucianthought, parentsarerightperdefinition. Thisdoesn’tmeanthatchildrenhavetofollowblindlywhatparentssay.ConfuciusandMenciusthemselvessaidthatchildrencan,gentlyandwithreverence,trytoshowtheirparentsthattheyarebehavingimproperly(see Chan/Tan2013,p.142).However,theformalityandcautiousnesswithwhichchildrencanhintatparents’faultsmakesalltooclearthatchildrenareinferior,andthatifparentsdonotchangetheirways,childrenstillhavetorevereandobeytheirparents. Theideathatrightandwrongdependonhierarchicalpositionisshownbythefollowingexample.OnceaKoreantoldmethathiswifeandmotherhadhadadisagreement.Theydidnotexpressthisdisagreementopenly,butcomplainedtohimabouteachother’sbehaviour.Hefoundhimselfinthesituationofhavingtosidewithoneofthem.Tomysurprise,hewasangrywithhiswifebecausesheaskedhimtodefendher.Hesaid:“IfIhavetochoosebetweenmymotherandmywife,ofcourseIwillalwayschoosemymother.” Theconflictbetweenmother-in-lawanddaughter-in-lawisoneoftherecurringthemesinEastAsianliterature.Inthepast,whenthepowerofparentswaswaystrongerthantoday,somemothers-in-lawusedtotyrannisetheirdaughters-in-law,takingadvantageoftheirhierarchicalpositionwhichallowedthemtodosounrestrained. Whenhisfatherdied,ShenFumournedhimandblamedhimselffornotservinghimwell.Itneveroccurredtohimthathisfathermighthavebeenunjust.Afterall,hewasneverathome,tookconcubinesanddroveYunoutofthehouseonlybecauseofamisunderstanding.Butfilialpietymeanssacrificeofchildrenforparents.ShenFucouldnothaveblamedhisfather,otherwisehewouldhavebeenanunfilialson. Advertisements Xiao,theFamilyandtheState Sinceancienttimestheconceptof xiaohashad aremarkablycentralpositioninChinesethought. Xiao appearedseventeentimesinthe Analects ofConfuciusandtwenty-seventimesinthe Mencius (respectivelythethirdandfourthoftheso-called FourBooks,aclassictextofConfucianism)(seeChan/Tan2013,p.141). InBookIIofthe Analects,Confuciusexplainstohisdisciplesthemeaningoffilialpiety: “Whenyourparentsarealive,complywiththeritesinservingthem;whentheydie,complywiththeritesinburyingthem;complywiththeritesinsacrificingtothem.(2.5) “Giveyourfatherandmothernoothercauseforanxietythanillness.(2.6)Nowadaysforamantobefilialmeansnomorethanthatheisabletoprovidehisparentswithfood.Evendogsandhorsesare,insomeways,providedwithfood.Ifamanshowsnoreverence,whereisthedifference?(2.7)Whatisdifficulttomanageistheexpressiononone’sface.Asfortheyoungtakingontheburdenwhenthereisworktobedoneorlettingtheoldenjoythewineandfoodwhentheseareavailable,thathardlydeservestobecalledfilial.”(ibid.,p.141). AccordingtoConfucius,filialpietywasavirtuethathadtobedemonstratedbyperformingrites,andbynourishingone’sparents.ThisverypracticalunderstandingoffamilialbondsandoflovehasremainedinChineseculturetothisday.However,Confuciusalsostressedthatperformingtheproperritesandservingone’sparentsshouldbetheexpressionofsincereandheartfeltreverence.  Nevertheless,fromapracticalpointofview,theidealrelationshipthatConfuciusenvisionedwasfarmoredifficulttoachievethanthesimpleperformanceofrites.Infact,inordertomaintainthespecificfamilyhierarchyofChinesesociety,obediencewasandstillisawaymoreeffectivetoolthanlookingintochildren’shearts.YoucancomparethiswiththepracticeofgoingtochurchinstrictlyChristiancommunities.Attendingthemassisaritualisticact.Whetherapersonisatruebelieverornot,isanothermatter. Filialpietystressedtheobligationsofchildrentowardsparents,andthemostimportantofthemwastocontinuethefamilylineage.AsMenciussaid:“Therearethreewaysofbeingunfilial,andtohavenoposterityisthegreatestofthem“.HanscholarZhaoQiexplainedthatthethreeunfilialbehavioursare:“deceivingyourparentswithflatteryandleadingthemtoignorerighteousness;notenteringpublicserviceandmakingacareerwhenparentsareoldandlivinginpoverty;notmarryingandhavingnoposteritytocarryontheancestralsacrifice”(Chan/Tan2013,p.142). BothConfuciusandMenciuslivedbeforeChinabecameoneunifiedcountry.AfterChinawasunifiedbytheQinDynasty(221–206BC)andanautocraticimperialstatewascreated,filialpietybegantobeincorporatedintothenewstateideology(ibid.,p.144).The ClassicofFilialPiety states: “Filialpietyistherootofallvirtues,andfromwhichallteachingcomes…Thebody,thehairandskinarereceivedfromourparents,andwedonotinjurethem.Thisisthebeginningoffilialpiety.WhenwehaveestablishedourselvesinthepracticeoftheWay,soastomakeournamefamousinfuturegenerationandglorifyourparents,thisistheendoffilialpiety.Filialpietybeginswiththeservingofourparents,continueswiththeservingofourruler,andiscompletedwiththeestablishmentofourowncharacter.”(ibid.,p.146). Iwouldliketostressthispoint.Filialpiety,asafeelingofindebtnessandgratitude,asasetofobligationsandduties,andasacompletewillingnesstoacceptsubordination,wasatthecoreoftheoldimperialsystem.Andalthoughsocietyhaschanged,theideathatchildrenshouldglorifyandserveparentsandgivethemposterity,isthemainreasonwhyparentsdemandsomuchfromtheirchildren,instilintothemambitions,andimposeuponthemhighexpectations.Manyparentsthinkthatchildrenare‘theirownthing’,andthatchildrenshouldnotdisappointthem.AdvocatesofAsianvaluessaythatAsiansocietiesstressduties,whileWesternsocietiesstressrights.Thatisnotquitetrue.Asiansocietiesstresstherightsoftheeldersandofsuperiorsmorethantheystresstherightsoftheyoungerandoftheinferiors.  TheextremecompetitionofChinesesocietiescanbepartlyexplainedbythefactthatit’sparentsthemselveswho,inperfectConfuciantradition,nurturetheambitionoftheirchildreninorderthattheymayglorifytheminthefuture.AclearexampleofthisisgivenbyEmperorChengzu(1360-1414)oftheMingDynastyinhisbook BiographicalAccountsofFilialPiety (孝順事實,pinyin:Xiàoshùnshìshí). Filialpietyinthepastdidnotreferonlytoservingyourparentswhenaliveandmourningafterdeath.Theimportantthingistomakeanameforyourparents.Servingwhenaliveandmourningafterdeatharecertainlyfilialacts.However,ifasoncanstudyandestablishhimself,transferfilialpietytoloyaltyandwingreatrenown,sothatpeoplecantracehisvirtuetohisparentsandsay,“howluckytohaveasonlikethis,”thisiscalledmakinganameforyourparentsandthegreatnessoffilialpiety.35Therearefivehumanrelationships,thesovereignandparentsarethemostimportant.Thosewhoarefilialtotheirparentswillalsobeloyaltotheirruler.Servinghisparentswithfilialpiety,thushisloyaltycanbetransferredtohissovereign(ibid.,pp.150-151). Wecanunderstandwhyfilialpietywassoimportant.Itwasthecornerstoneofasystemofsubordinationthatbeganinthefamilyandendedintheserviceforthemonarch.Thissystem,inwhicheveryonehadaposition,andeveryonelearntfromearlychildhoodtorespectone’spositionandtounderstanditsindebtnesstowardsone’ssuperiors,createdhierarchy,orderandsafety.Consequently,afilialsonwasalsoconsideredaloyalsubject.SmallwonderthatanoldChinesesayingdeclares:“Aloyalministercouldonlybefoundinthefamilyoffilialsons”(ibid.,p.148). IfitistruethatChinesesocietywasbasedonhierarchyandauthority,onemightwonderwhythissocialstructurelastedsolong.Whydidnoonerebel,andwhydidnoonequestiontheprinciplesofparentalorimperialauthority?Therearesomereasonswhythesystemoffamilyrelationshipswassoresilient.Let’stakeacloserlookatthem. Advertisements BenignAuthorityandLove AlthoughtheChinesefamilywasbaseduponhierarchyandsubordination,itwasnotperseanauthoritariansystemaswemightimagineit.TheChinesehierarchicalsystemwasperhapsthemostefficaciousandadvanced,butalsohumanesystemfordiscipliningtheindividualthathaseverexisted.  LetuscomparebrieflyhierarchyandcollectivisminChinaandtheWest.ItisoftensaidthattheWestisindividualistic,butthatisnothingmorethanamistakeoramisunderstanding.IfyoulookatEuropeanhistory,youwilleasyfindoutthattherehavebeenthroughoutthecenturiesnumerousexamplesofextremelyhierarchicalandcollectivistsocialsystems.Twoofthemostimportantonesarereligion(Christianity)andtotalitarianregimes(Fascism,Communism).Bothsystemsarecollectivistbydefinition.InChristianity,theindividualmustgiveeverythingforhisfaithinGod.Intotalitariansocieties,theindividualisnothing,andideology(thenation,theleader,thestateetc.)iseverything.Generallyspeaking,Westerncollectivistsystemswereabstractideologies.Forexample,inNaziGermany,asmallgroupofpoliticalleadersmadedecisionsforthewholenation.Therewasnopersonalrelationshipwhatsoeverbetweentheleadersandthosewhoselivestheycompletelycontrolled.Therewasnochancefortheindividualtorebel.Everyonehadtosubordinatetothestate,tothecommunity,tocollectivevalues.Thesewere,asIseeit,inhumanesystemsofsubjugationoftheindividualforthesakeofabstractideals.  IntheChinesefamily,onthecontrary,hierarchywasbasedonpersonalrelationships.Therewerecertainlymanyactsofcrueltyinthatsystem:fatherscouldselltheirchildren,infanticidewasnotuncommon,etc.Nevertheless,therewasalsoloveandaffection.Besides,commoninterestsboundthefamilymemberstogether.Itwasinmanyrespectsarelativelybenign,ahumaneformofauthoritarianism.Furthermore,thereweremanypossibilitiesforindividualstobendthesystemthroughtricks.IfIcanmentionagainShenFu’sautobiography,thereisapassageinwhichheandhiswifewanttogotoapartybutcannotgotogetherbecauseshe,likeallwomeninoldChina,hadtostayathome.So,theymakeupanexcuseforShenFu’sparents.Shedressesasamanandtheygotogethertotheboatparty.   ThesecondreasonwhytheChinesefamilysystemhas beensoresilienthastodowithapeculiarityofChineseandEastAsiansocieties:Lifecycles. Advertisements ChineseLifeCyclesandtheBenefitsofFilialPiety “ThearcoflifeinJapan”,notedRuthBenedict,“isplottedinoppositefashiontothatintheUnitedStates.ItisagreatshallowU-curvewithmaximumfreedomandindulgenceallowedtobabiesandtotheold,”(Benedict2006,p.254). InWesternsocieties,thepeakoflifeisusuallybetweentheageof18and30/40.Childrenwanttogrowupquickly,andwhenthey’vegrownuptheydon’twanttogetold.Youthistheperiodinwhichoneisfree,canenjoyhislife,canearnmoney.  InChineseculture,asinJapanandSouthKorea,themostcarefreepartofone’slife,whenoneisrespected,spoiltandcaredfor,arechildhoodandoldage.Insomerespects,onemaysaythatAsianpeoplearebornaschildren,andintheiroldagetheygobacktochildhood,onlythatthistime,insteadoftheirparents,it’stheirchildrenwhotakecareofthem.  Traditionally,childreninChinesesocietyarethekingsandqueensofthehouse.Theycanplayaround,arespoiltandcandoprettymuchwhattheywant.Thehardtimebeginswhentheystarttogotoschool,anditcontinuesformuchoftheiradultlife.Because,aschildrengrow,parentsimposeuponthemexpectationsandobligations.SinceinAsiafilialpietyiscommonsense,therequestsofparentsarereinforcedbythegeneralattitudeofthesociety.Childrenwhodon’tconformareconfrontedwithstrongparentalpressure,andwiththerejectionbythesociety.ParentalpressureinAsianworksbetterthanintheWest,becauseAsianparentsare100%convincedthattheyarerightandthatwhattheywantisgoodfortheirchildren;moreover,parentsusuallybasetheirdemandsonthestandardssetbysocietyasawhole,sothepsychologicalpressureonchildrenisenormous.Childrenbecomeafraidofbeingseenaslosersiftheyrebelandmakedecisionsentirelyontheirown. WhatmadetheChinesefamilysystemsoenduring,wasthateveryoneenjoyedsomedegreeofpower,andthatindividualswhowereinferiorwouldthenthemselvesbecomesuperior. Infact,eventhepoorestofmeninChinawasaking:akinginhisownhousehold.HewasnothingcomparedtotheEmperororaMagistrate,buthe,too,hadsomesubordinateswhohadtoserveandobeyhim:hisownchildren. Whilesonsordaughters-in-lawwerepowerlessintheiryouth,whentheygrewoldtheirturncametocommand.Sonswouldinherittheirfathers’role,anddaughters-in-lawwouldbecomemothers-in-lawandbeaspowerful(andperhapsevil)astheirownmother-in-lawhadbeen.Insomerespects,itwasalsoasystemthatfavouredbullyingbysuperiorstoinferiors.YoucanstillseethisincontemporaryChineseculture.  Thisdistributionofpowerallowedeveryindividualtoexertcontroloversomeone.Thishierarchicalsystem,alongwiththeloveandaffectionthatnaturallyarisewithinfamilies,allowedtheChinesefamilysystemandtheconceptoffilialpietytosurviveforhundredsofyears.  Advertisements EmailAddress: Subscribe Youmaylike BreezeofaSpringEveningandOtherStories,byYuDafu.ChineseCivilization:ASourcebook,byPatriciaBuckleyEbrey.TheAgeofConfucianRule:TheSongTransformationofChina,byDieterKuhn.TheWorldTurnedUpsideDown:AHistoryoftheChineseCulturalRevolution,byJishengYang.CravenAandotherStories,byMuShiying.WeHaveBeenHarmonized:LifeinChina’sSurveillanceState,byKaiStrittmatter.HowtoBeaDictator:TheCultofPersonalityintheTwentiethCentury,byFrankDikötter.TheEmperor’sNewRoad:ChinaandtheProjectoftheCentury,byJonathanE.Hillman.TheOilVendorandtheQueenofFlowers,byFengMenglong.TheInventionofChina,byBillHayton.MakingChinaModern:FromtheGreatQingtoXiJinping,byKlausMühlhahn.TheThirdRevolution:XiJinpingandtheNewChineseState,byElizabethC.Economy. *ThisarticlecontainsAmazonaffiliatelinksandads.IfyouclickthroughthelinksandpurchaseanyproductonAmazon.comwithin24hours,wecanearnasmallcommissionatnoadditionalcosttoyou.Thisisaneasywaytosupportourwork.Wehavealsoaddedsomeofourownbookstothelist,andweareworkingonreleasingmore.Writingcontentrequiresalotoftimeandeffort,andwerelyonyoursupporttomakethispossible.Anotherwaytohelpusistoshareourcontentonsocialmediaandsubscribetothewebsite.Wereallyappreciateyoursupport.Thanks! Sharethis:ClicktoshareonTwitter(Opensinnewwindow)ClicktoshareonFacebook(Opensinnewwindow)ClicktoshareonTumblr(Opensinnewwindow)ClicktoshareonLinkedIn(Opensinnewwindow)ClicktoshareonReddit(Opensinnewwindow)Likethis:LikeLoading... Postnavigation PreviousPreviouspost:UncleXi“BeatsTheTiger”–XiJinping’sNewYearPropaganda CartoonNextNextpost:ProprietyandRitualisminChinese Society 10thoughtson“FilialPiety(孝)inChinese Culture” AddComment Pingback:LawInImperialChina–ConfucianismAndLegalism|TheGreaterChinaJournal Pingback:¿PorquéenChinahaytantoshombressolterosyporquéestántanfrustrados?|CNNEspañol.com Thankyouallforthisarticleandforthispage, I´vebeenreadingchineseamericanliteraturesincesomemonths, Ineededtoknowmoreaboutchineseculture, thanksagain. LikeLikedby1person Reply Thisarticleisreallyinteresting,butwhyitison16th placeingoogle’ssearchresults.Itdeservestobe intop5.Manybloggersthinkthatseoisdead in2016,butitisnottrue.Thereissneakymethodtoreachgoogle’stop5thatnot manypeopleknow.Justsearchfor:pandatsor’stools LikeLike Reply ThisisaninterestingarticleaboutFilialPietyandthehistoricdepictionofit.However,asIreadon–itseemsmoreofancritiqueonFilialPietyandChineseCultureunderthatideologyratherthananoverviewofFilialPiety. ThereareafewareasthatIfeelisnotanaccuratedepictionofeithertheChineseCultureortheviewoftheWest.Forexample,thetiedbetweenmaterialismandfilialpietyisabitfarstretched–oratleastinmyownhouseholditis.Theideaof[“Loveisshownanddisplayedthroughmaterialcare.”]istoosimplistic. Filialpietyisacomplexphilosophy/ideology.ThedutyofachildundertheConfucianismisbasedonfilialpietyhowever,theobligationoftheparentsunderthisideologyissuchthattheparentsalsoprovidesforthechild,notonlymaterialthingsbutalsotheabsoluteloveandcareforthechildwhethertheyare3yearsoldof60yearsold.Thefinancialormaterialsupportismuchdeeperthangivingyourchildmoneyashowyoudescribeittobe,butcomesfromnotwantingthechildtobestressedandburdenbyfinancialstressed. TheexampleofChinesethinkingtheWesternbeingselfishisnotanotherinaccuratedepiction.Oratleastnotanaccurateviewbasedontheviewsofmycommunityhereinthe“west”. ThediscussionoratleastgrowinguphereisthattheChineseadultscannotfathomtheideaof“kicking”theirkidsoutat18andnotcaringforthemunderthepretenceofallowingyourchildtobecomemoreindependent.Isitapracticeofindependencyorselfishness?Istheoppositeoppressiveandenabling?Thisalldependsonthesemioticsofyourenvironment. Justanopinionfromsomeonethatisraisedinthe“west”andmarriedintoanAnglo-Saxonfamilywithbi-racialchildren. LikeLike Reply Lainey,youseemtobearguingwithyourownreadingofthearticle,notwiththearticleitself.Theauthordidn’tsaythatcareforrelativesinChinaisonlygivingmoney,nordidshesaythatthereisnoloveandeveryparentisoppressive,onlythatsuchthingshappen.Noteveryfamilyisthesame,andnoteveryfamilyisideal. LikeLike Reply Pingback:ChineseNewYear:ACulturalTradition,NotAReligiousOne|TRP Pingback:BehindtheWords:MandarinLessonsforYourFutureTravels–WildChina IamanAnglo-SaxonwomanwhodatedaTaiwaneseman(raisedintheUS)forthelast9years,until2weeksago,whenhisparentscutmeoutofhislife.Theyhadhadenoughofhimnotfollowingfilialpietyandhisdutiestothefamily.I’vebeenanunwelcomedistraction.Thisarticlehasshedmuchinsightintowhathehadbeentellingmeforyearsregardingnot“owning”hislifeandunbreakableobligationstohisparents.Inotherwords,despitehowmuchhelovedme,wewouldneverbeashisparentshadalreadyselectedaspouseforhimthatmettheircriteriaofeducation,age,familystatus,etc,andweretiredofhimdragginghisfeetandpushingoffthisobligation.WhileI’mstilltryingtowrapmyheadarounditall,thisarticlehashelpedclarifywhathappenedtocausethebreakandwhyhehasfeltsotornforsolong. LikeLike Reply ThankyousomuchforyourcommentandI’msorryforyourbreakup.I’mgladthisarticlecouldhelpyoubetterunderstandthesituationyoufoundyourselfin.AchievingculturalcompetencyisindeedoneofthereasonswhyIchosetowritethispiece.Bestregards LikeLike Reply LeaveaReplyCancelreply Enteryourcommenthere... Fillinyourdetailsbeloworclickanicontologin: Email(required)(Addressnevermadepublic) Name(required) Website YouarecommentingusingyourWordPress.comaccount. ( Log Out /  Change ) YouarecommentingusingyourTwitteraccount. ( Log Out /  Change ) YouarecommentingusingyourFacebookaccount. ( Log Out /  Change ) Cancel Connectingto%s Notifymeofnewcommentsviaemail.Notifymeofnewpostsviaemail. Δ ThissiteusesAkismettoreducespam.Learnhowyourcommentdataisprocessed. Search Searchfor: Search SubscribetoBlogviaEmail Enteryouremailaddresstosubscribetothisblogandreceivenotificationsofnewpostsbyemail. 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