Addressing A Letter to Two People - Daily Writing Tips

Dear Rev. and Mrs. Simpson ... however, when some people question even the conventional use of Dear to begin a ... Roberta B. on July 20, 2015 12:27 pm. AddressingALettertoTwoPeople ByMaeveMaddox Onepostoftenleadstoanother.Therecentarticle“ConventionalLetterSalutationsinEnglish”garneredseveralquestionsabouthowtoaddressalettertoamarriedcouplewhohavedifferenttitlesand/ordifferentsurnames. Traditionalletter-writingetiquetteisbasedontraditionalprofessionalandmaritalpatternsderivedfromthefollowingassumptions: 1.Amarriedcoupleismadeupofamanandawoman. 2.Theman’sname,withtheappropriatehonorific,goesfirst. 3.Amarriedwomantakesherhusband’ssurname. 4.Amarriedwoman’sgivennameisnotpartoftheaddressorsalutation. Basedontheseassumptions,traditionaletiquettedictatesthefollowingforms: Address Mr.andMrs.CharlesSimpson Dr.andMrs.CharlesSimpson Rev.andMrs.CharlesSimpson Salutation DearMr.andMrs.Simpson DearDr.andMrs.Simpson DearRev.andMrs.Simpson Nowadays,however,whensomepeoplequestioneventheconventionaluseofDeartobeginabusinessletter,howtoaddressalettercanbeahotlycontestedtopic. Manymarriedwomenstillpreferthe“Mr.andMrs.”form,butothersfeelmarginalizedbyit.Asaresult,recentguidestoletter-writinggivethefollowingasacceptableoptions: Mr.CharlesandMrs.JaneSimpson Mr.CharlesandMs.JaneSimpson Note:Intraditionaletiquette,theform“Mrs.JaneSimpson”signifiesthatthewomansoaddressedisdivorced. Inmodernusage,whenaformotherthan“Mr.andMrs.[surname]”isused,thewoman’snamegoesfirst: Mrs.JaneSimpsonandMr.CharlesSimpson JaneandCharlesSimpson DearJaneandCharles AneditoratTheChicagoManualofStyleconsidersanyofthefollowingasproperformsforabusinesssalutationtoamarriedcouple: DearMr.andMrs.Stern DearIreneandMikeStern DearMikeandIreneStern Whenmembersofthecouplehavedifferenttitles,somecommentatorsthinkthatthetraditionalmale-femaleordershouldbemaintained.Forexample,ifthewifehasadoctorateandthehusbandhasn’t,theformwouldbe“DearMr.andDr.Simpson.” Otherauthorities,likeTheGreggReferenceManual,statethatthehigher-rankingtitleshouldgofirst:“DearDr.andMr.Simpson.”Ifbothmembersofthecoupleareentitledtobeaddressedas“Dr.,”thentheymaybeaddressedas“DearDrs.Simpson.” Anotherresultofchangingnormsisthenecessitytodecidehowtoaddressacouplethatdoesnotshareasurname. RobertHickey,authorofHonor&Respect,TheOfficialGuidetoNames,Titles,andFormsofAddress,offersasolutionthatcoverseverykindofcouple:heterosexual,homosexual,married,andunmarried-but-living-together. Wheneachmemberofacoupleusesadifferentsurname,listeachnamefully,puttingtheminalphabeticalorderbyfamilyname: Dr.GeoffreyBaxterandDr.AliceGoodwin Forpartnersinasame-sexcouple,listtheminalphabeticalorderbyfamilyname: Ms.AngelaEspositoandMs.SharaPatel Mr.LiamO’HareandMr.DarinWashington Somesame-sexcouplesopttoshareasurname.Inthatcase,arrangethenamesinalphabeticalorderbygivenname: Ms.AngelaPatelandMs.SharaPatel. Bottomline:Ifyouknowthecouple,youshouldknowhowtheyprefertobeaddressed. Ifyouareaddressingalettertopeopleyoudonotknowwell,choosearespectfulformofaddressthatsuitstheoccasion. WanttoimproveyourEnglishinfiveminutesaday?Getasubscriptionandstartreceivingourwritingtipsandexercisesdaily! Keeplearning!BrowsetheBusinessWritingcategory,checkourpopularposts,orchoosearelatedpostbelow:Compared"to"orCompared"with"?50Synonymsfor“Idea”Continueand"Continueon" Stopmakingthoseembarrassingmistakes!SubscribetoDailyWritingTipstoday! YouwillimproveyourEnglishinonly5minutesperday,guaranteed! Subscribersgetaccesstoourarchiveswith800+interactiveexercises! You'llalsogetthreebonusebookscompletelyfree! TryItFreeNow 10Responsesto“AddressingALettertoTwoPeople” thebluebird11onJuly19,201511:19am OMGIneverdreameditcouldbethiscomplicated.Luckilyforme,atthispointinmylifeandcareerthishasbeenanissue.Mypersonalcorrespondenceisnotthatcomplicated,andIneverhaveformal/businesscorrespondencethatisthatcomplicated.AndIhopeIneverdo!ButifIeverbumpupagainstthisproblem,Iwillbesuretoreferbacktoyourpostandtakeitfurtherifnecessary.ThanksMaeve! MisterFurklesonJuly19,201512:11pm So,isit: DearQueenElizabethWindsorandPrincePhilipMountbatten,or DearQueenElizabethWindsorandDukePhilipSchleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg,or DearQueenElizabethWindsorandDukePhilipGlucksberg,or DearQueenElizabethWindsorandPrincePhilip,or DearQueenElizabethWindsorandDukePhilipEdinburgh,or DearQueenElizabethWindsorandPrincePhilipEdinburgh,or DearQueenElizabethWindsorandCommanderPrincePhilipMountbatten,or… Gosh,Igiveup. Howabout DearLizandPhil, DidyouknowElizabethwashomeschooled?AndPhilipattendedtheAmericanSchoolinParisashisfirstformalschooling.IwonderhowtheydidontheirSATs. venqaxonJuly19,20152:05pm I’mstickingtoToWhomItMayConcerninallcircumstances. ToWhomItMayConcern: AllquiethereontheWesternFront,dearwife. ToWhomItMayConcern: MerryChristmasMomandDad! HeatheronJuly19,20158:05pm Icannotimagineusingtheformyouprovidebasedonwhatis“traditional.”Inthese,thewomanlosesherlastnamealongwithherfirstname(andidentity),“Mrs.‘myhusband’sfirstandlastname'”;I’dbeinsultedtoreceivesomethingwiththistypeofformatused,asI’dthinkmanywomenwouldbe. Mr.andMrs.CharlesSimpson Dr.andMrs.CharlesSimpson Rev.andMrs.CharlesSimpson RobertaB.onJuly20,201512:27pm Well,Heather,imagineit.I’m,probablyalotolderthanyouare,butit’strue……maybeevenaslateasthe60s.Theexampleiscorrectwhichsays:Intraditionaletiquette,theform“Mrs.JaneSimpson”signifiesthatthewomansoaddressedisdivorced. WhenIstartedelementaryschool,mymotheralwayssignedhername:Mrs.[herfirstname][myfather’slastname]……andIcantellyou,shehadnoideaitindicatedthesignatureofadivorcedwoman.I’msuremostoftheschoolpeopleatthetimeprobablywereatleasthalfagenerationolderthanshewas,andIwaswellintothe4thgradewhenItoldherthatthewordaroundschoolwasthatshewasraisingusbyherself,eventhoughmydadwasverymucharoundandlivingwithus.Afterthat,untilallofuschildrenwereoutofhighschool,shesignedhername:Mrs.[myfather’sfirstandlastname],andthatwasatleastintothe70s.Timesaredifferentnow,andshehaslongsincegonebacktosigningwithherfirstname.So,forthesakeofyourownidentity,here’sonemorereasontoappreciatebeingborninthisera. venqaxonJuly20,20151:21pm Ifthetraditionalformsofthingsoffendyou,thenyouhavetotakeitupwithtradition.Ifyou’reover18yearsoldandstillwanttobea“rebel”,thenyouarefreetorefrainfromobservingtraditionyourself.Butyoudon’thaveanyrighttobeoffendedbythosewhoobservethetradition.SomeoneaddressingyouasMr.andMrs.JohnBrownorevenMrs.JohnBrownisnotbeingoffensive.ThinkofpoorPrincessMichael(PrinceMichael’swife).Shedoesn’tevengettouseherownfirstnamewhenshe’salone! RemcoBoschonMay11,20178:09am DearMr,MrsormsVenqaz, Itisludicroustosuggestthatsomeonedoesnothavetherighttofeeloffendedbysomething,becausethatsomethingisanoldtradition.Therearemanyoldtraditionsthatwereclearlyacceptedatthetime(thetimeoflimitedrightsora‘lower’positionforminoritiesforexample,women,children,peoplefromanotherrace),butinthisdayandagewouldbehighlyinsultingandunacceptable.Culturechanges(asitistimeandplacedependant)andatraditionhasnolastingrightwhenitisnowdeemedinappropriate. CindyConNovember14,20172:40pm Thispostisveryinformative.Yes,thereisatraditionthat’scalledWRITING.Inwritingstyle,thereisaconventiontofollowwhenaddressingpeopleincertainsituations.Thosegrowingupintoday’sworld,ofcourse,won’treallyunderstandthisbecauseyoudidn’tgrowupWRITING.Theseruleswon’tmakesensetoyou.Justbecauseyoudon’tunderstandtherulesdoesn’tmakethemirrelevant.Theyareveryrelevant. EviAvgenikosonMarch14,20204:02am Myunderstandingisthatwhoeveroutrankstheotherisaddressedfirst.ButsaythewifeisDrandthehusbandisCaptindifferentprofessions.Howdoyoufigureoutwhooutrankswho?Ordowesticktomalefirstandthenfemale? BARBARAEonApril03,20211:18pm IunderstoodfromanoldetiquettebookthatwhenwritingaletteronewouldsayDearHerbert&Dorisalwaysputtingthemansnamefirstifhewasfamily,Istilldothisisitcorrect,mybrotherthinksitisnotIamsureIamright. Leaveacomment:Cancelcomment Name(required): Emailaddress(required): WebsiteURL: Speakyourmind: Categories BusinessWriting BookReviews Mistakes Expressions FictionWriting FreelanceWriting General Grammar Grammar101 MisusedWords Punctuation Spelling Style Vocabulary WritingBasics UsageReview WritingQuizzes